bad lip reading


motherfucka you gay

(via stay-in-my-wonderland)

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did u guys see me at the oscars

You looked great, pizza. Congrats on everything. I love you.

Thanks, John. I love you too.

(via crystallized-teardrops)

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Anonymous asked: what do you think it would be like living with 5sos?



it’d be fun at first, i bet, but it probs be frustrating as fuck later on dude they’re such dorks i love them but think you’d have to yell at them a lot idk man something like:

  • "guys have u seen my bra?"
  • "oh for fucks sake luke get my bra off your head"
  • "michael stop hitting luke"
  • "luke stop letting michael hit you"
  • "ashton we had broccoli for dinner last night you need to stop"
  • "no i dont want any pineapple" 
  • "no no no not my pants jesus christ” 
  • "calum i swear to god if i see your bare ass again" 
  • "michael stop singing frozen its doing my head in" 
  • "did you just hump my arm" 
  • "i dont wanna build a snowman michael its 4am go to sLEEP"
  • "ashton stop trying to take selfies with me im not up for it"
  • "no i dont want to fucking cuddle" 
  • "luke are you seriously wearing my bra again"

Just one thing I wouldn’t complain abt Calum being naked but the rest is pretty accurate tho

1,781 notes

i just need to get my shit together

- me in 2009/2012/this time last year/a minute ago/next year probably (via guy)

(Source: omegaqueer, via hemmoscherrycoke)

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After learning my flight was detained 4 hours,
I heard the announcement:
If anyone in the vicinity of gate 4-A understands any Arabic,
Please come to the gate immediately.

Well—one pauses these days. Gate 4-A was my own gate. I went there.
An older woman in full traditional Palestinian dress,
Just like my grandma wore, was crumpled to the floor, wailing loudly.
Help, said the flight service person. Talk to her. What is her
Problem? we told her the flight was going to be four hours late and she
Did this.

I put my arm around her and spoke to her haltingly.
Shu dow-a, shu- biduck habibti, stani stani schway, min fadlick,
Sho bit se-wee?

The minute she heard any words she knew—however poorly used—
She stopped crying.

She thought our flight had been canceled entirely.
She needed to be in El Paso for some major medical treatment the
Following day. I said no, no, we’re fine, you’ll get there, just late,

Who is picking you up? Let’s call him and tell him.
We called her son and I spoke with him in English.
I told him I would stay with his mother till we got on the plane and
Would ride next to her—Southwest.

She talked to him. Then we called her other sons just for the fun of it.

Then we called my dad and he and she spoke for a while in Arabic and
Found out of course they had ten shared friends.

Then I thought just for the heck of it why not call some Palestinian
Poets I know and let them chat with her. This all took up about 2 hours.

She was laughing a lot by then. Telling about her life. Answering

She had pulled a sack of homemade mamool cookies—little powdered
Sugar crumbly mounds stuffed with dates and nuts—out of her bag—
And was offering them to all the women at the gate.

To my amazement, not a single woman declined one. It was like a
Sacrament. The traveler from Argentina, the traveler from California,
The lovely woman from Laredo—we were all covered with the same
Powdered sugar. And smiling. There are no better cookies.

And then the airline broke out the free beverages from huge coolers—
Non-alcoholic—and the two little girls for our flight, one African
American, one Mexican American—ran around serving us all apple juice
And lemonade and they were covered with powdered sugar too.

And I noticed my new best friend—by now we were holding hands—
Had a potted plant poking out of her bag, some medicinal thing,

With green furry leaves. Such an old country traveling tradition. Always
Carry a plant. Always stay rooted to somewhere.

And I looked around that gate of late and weary ones and thought,
This is the world I want to live in. The shared world.

Not a single person in this gate—once the crying of confusion stopped
—has seemed apprehensive about any other person.

They took the cookies. I wanted to hug all those other women too.
This can still happen anywhere.

Not everything is lost.

-Naomi Shihab Nye (b. 1952), “Wandering Around an Albuquerque Airport Terminal.” (via endegame)

(Source: oliviacirce, via alexandrarae-)

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seen on time low

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Luke | Dallas | 4.15.14 | x

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everyone in harry potter treated luna like she was crazy for believing in weird shit like they didn’t go to wizard high school

(Source: neptunain, via obviouslyalexs)

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